Look Out Sony, Nintendo, and Xbox: Power Player Super Joystick 76000 in One Will Kick Your Ass

That's right folks! The Power Player Super Joystick 76000 in One is now available from your local shady Middle Eastern guy that works in the center of the mall.

The Power Player Super Joystick 76000 in One blows away every game system ever made, ever. Consisting of original controllers, and an incredibly LIFELIKE light gun for shooter games, the Power Player Super Joystick 76000 in One aims (pun intended) to replace every current next gen system in your home, every media player, and possibly, even your mom.

The Power Player Super Joystick 76000 in One has an impressive 76000 games available at launch, a record that will probably never get beaten by anything. A few of the incredible launch titles consist of "Popeye," "WWF," "Duck Hunt," "Twinbe," and "Popeye." The only drawback about the Power Player Super Joystick 76000 in One is that it has no online functionality. When asked why, the Middle Eastern man told me "UNLESS YOU ARE BUYING GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE!"

The Power Player Super Joystick 76000 in One retails for the REDICULOUSLY low price of $40 dollars, but the Middle Eastern guy is willing to haggle if you are a penny pinching douche-bag. Seriously, that's like a dollar per game, how could you lose!